Monday, June 06, 2005

The birds, the bees, and...the pillow!

Let me set the stage for you....the kids and I are cuddled up on the couches, all snuggled in and happy. We are watching some show on TLC, one that we all actually liked. Corey and I are getting pretty drowsy...I find myself drifting off a little bit and can tell Corey is headed in the same direction as I can feel him really relaxing on my right hip. Tyler isn't quite as sleepy as we are and keeps playing with the dog. "Max come here"...they play for a while, and then the dog lays down to rest.

Apparently Max got a burst of energy and goes to get his pillow (i.e. the "girlfriend"). Max has a little routine with his pillow...he first nips at it and then he starts to swing it around with it clenched between his teeth...(I think this is his form of foreplay, ugh!) After these festivities, he always begins the humping ritual. I'm laying there on the couch just dreading, what I know is about to happen. My mind is racing, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna say to the boys. Oh, I hate when that kind of stuff happens....what do you tell a 9 and 11 year-old, when it comes to that kind of thing???? To my surprise, the kids don't take much notice, until...Tyler decides that it's time for him and Max to play again. He's saying..."come here Max..come on boy"...in my head I'm like, "oh no!". Tyler, being the relentless little boy he is, keeps on calling him, over and over. Max I think, is in a different world at this point...he has his pillow locked in and is going for the gold...geez. Going, going, done! Thank goodness.

But now, it's on to the licking stage...afterwards, he always takes several minutes to lick himself (which I find to be sooo disgusting). Anyhow, the licking is making Tyler get a little frustrated..."mom! he won't play with me!" I say, "Ty, he's a little busy right now!" Here comes the dreaded part.."well, what is he doing?" Oh shit...wheels spinning, spinning, spinning...what do I say? "He's licking his penis Ty". The kids start squealing, and in unison say..."Ewwwwwwwwww!" So, I follow up with, "NOW do you REALLY want to play with him?" We were all rolling, but the best part comes about 5 minutes later, when Corey says..."why you don't EVER want to kiss a Maxi!" We all laughed until we had tears in our eyes!!! (A few months back, I showed the kids an e-mail "why you don't ever want to kiss a monkey"...don't know how many of you have seen this one, but it shows a monkey peeing and spraying it right into his mouth). Nasty!! LOL

So, I guess I made it through that uncomfortable experience unscathed! I'm sure there will be many more to come! Lovely!

Until later all!!! Have a great one!!!

8 comments:

Peanutt said...

Ewwwww!!!!!!!!! But that is funny!!! As I have had the experience of seeing Max go to town on his "girlfriend!" LOL. Better than you leg! LMAO!!
LY!

Jennifer said...

Very funny! A dog needs "love" too!

jlybn123 said...

I am grateful that he hasn't discovered that legs work for this purpose too...but still, it's quite ikky!

And Jennifer, it still doesn't compare to the booby rings! LOL That's definitely a classic.

Dawn said...

oh man. . .yea I had a cat that did that regularly. .gross!

Chief Slacker said...

Legs are too bony and tend to move.

Way to think on your feet though ;O)

jlybn123 said...

Nick--it sounds like you are talking from experience, no? LOLOLOL

Chief Slacker said...

How you think I pick up the chicks? ;O)

Hah, friend's dog.. lemme tell ya, he learnt quick after a swift kick to the giblets!

Cy said...

Heh-heh ... he said 'giblets' ... heh-heh ...