Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Where oh where has my little boy gone???

The pre-pubescent stage has hit my household with a vengeance. It almost feels as though someone has come in and stolen my mild-mannered son, and replaced him with this unfamiliar being that I've never met before.

Here are a few examples;
Just after my having surgery last month, this unfamiliar being decided that it might be fun to start a fire, (in a wooden box, no less), in the next door neighbors yard. Mind you, this was only 3 days after my surgery and I was still hazy from pain meds. Both of my sisters were also at the house that day, looking after me, cleaning the house, and looking after the boys. What great mommies and babysitters we are! We had no idea! Corey even walked in with what appeared to be soot on his face. That should have clued me in right there...especially when I asked what was on his face and he got all defensive. But no, stupid mommy that I am, I blow it off as he must have just been playing in the dirt. Later on that day, my next door neighbor comes over and says that one of the other neighbors saw them doing a rain dance around a large fire! When I talked to Corey (aka unfamiliar being), he said that "Alex (next door neighbor) lit the fire!" Upon further questioning, he admitted to supplying the matches from MY BASEMENT! I hobbled over and talked to Alex's mom, we got what facts we could and gave all the kids a good talking to. I also called the ex and let him in on what had happened. The next day, he came over, we again talked to the kids about what they had done and the ex actually bent Corey over his knee and spanked him (hard too). Finally, this made an impact on this creature. He was crying like a baby now. This was the first sign of any remorse. The first emotion that he showed about any of this, and that pissed me off.

Actually, it pissed me off and scared me at the same time. My son isn't like that. He is the one, that for his entire life, I can just give him and evil look and he'd be reduced to tears. He has always been very easy to deal with, he has always been mellow and laid back and was one to go with the flow. NOT ANYMORE!

This past weekend, this wonderful trend continued. I was getting the boys ready to take them to the lake on Saturday. When I went to get unfamiliar being his swimsuit, I noticed something sparkly in his dresser drawer. Upon further inspection, I realized that those were diamonds sparkling away...my diamonds! (2 rings from my mom...who isn't here anymore). I was crushed. There can't be any excuse for this one. At first, I didn't know what to do or say. He didn't act disturbed or guilty that I was in his drawer. I was trying to gauge his reaction to my being in there, but there was none. I scooped up my jewelry, so that he didn't realize what I was doing, and pulled out his swim trunks. I walked into the bathroom, just trying to decide how to approach him. He actually followed, and I just blurted out..."I would like to know what these are doing in your drawer????" At first, he said that he didn't know...and then it changed to him saying that he was just "looking at them". Now, these are things that are left in my jewelry box downstairs...if he was curious or just looking at them, they should have been put right back. But they weren't!

We went ahead and went to the lake, but it was definitely on my mind all day. It weighed heavily on me. I'm just so disappointed. I guess this is what all parents of teens or pre-teens were warning me about. I just never imagined that I would have to worry myself with these things. Pretty naive of me, I know.

For now, he is grounded. He is coming home, doing homework and spending some quiet time in his room to think. I've thought of having him write an essay on the importance of respecting other people's property...something like that. Hell, I don't know! This is totally out of the realm of things that come in the parenting handbook.

I do know that grounding really didn't teach me a whole heck of alot, when I was growing up, but taking away his priveledges, is all I can think of right now.

So, fellow bloggers, I'm asking for your words of wisdom here...I'm just at a loss. Can I expect my son to return to me anytime soon? Is this just a small dose of bigger and better things to come? Am I a complete failure in the parenting department? What? Help!

Oh yeah, and wish me luck, I think I'm gonna need it.


Laura said...

Wow...that is tough. I don't know what I'd do either. My oldest is 6 and he has the mouth already and it is a constant battle. He is very strong willed. My mother says it is everything I dished out coming back around...yeah..thanks for that, Mom! It's a big help!
Hang in there...and you are not a failure. ;)

jlybn123 said...

Laura--This is just a very hard stage and I feel like I had better get a handle on it now, before it's out of control. Yikes!

And by the way, my mom used to tell me that she hoped my kids were just like me! Ugh...that is a little scary, because it's happening. Don't know how she survived having 5 of us!

Peanutt said...

I think thats the norm for most moms "I hope you have one just like you!" Yep, my mom used to say it too!
As for any suggestions I have? I am clueless and now really not looking forward to my kids getting older!
Just keep in mind all the stages in our lives we went through! You know Corey isn't a rotten or spiteful kid. Alot of changes are happening for him going to jr. high and all! Starting back to finding 'a crowd' that you belong to again if alot of your friends went elsewhere. Just keep strong momma!

jlybn123 said...

Peanutt--What is most scary to me right now, is that Corey isn't typical Corey right now. He's not the kid I've always known. Ugh ugh ugh.

I think drinks are in order for Friday night! LOL


Mama Duck said...

Boarding school?

No, just kidding...I am DREADING the day my girls grow up and hit junior high. I'll probably have to start taking Xanax or drinking heavily...

Easily Amused said...

You poor thing! I know exactlly what you are going through. The one thing you must remember is that our kids are always "testing" us. We must remain firm! By the time my son grew out of that phase, I had grounded him so much, that the only things in his room were a bed and dresser. Don't worry, with a strong guiding hand (not necessarily spanking ` although the fire thing warrented that), this will pass.