First bath.

Well, Max had his first bath yesterday. It was hilarious, to say the least. I must say that he was very good, but it was still a bit of a fiasco. He looked like a drowned rat...his hair all matted down...lol He would shake water all over us...so we are dripping in dog hair, shampoo, and smelly dog water...nice! In the midst of all of this...two of my neighbors decided to come down to talk to me. I hope they didn't mind me trying to chat over the loud roar of the blowdryer...and yelling after him to "get back here!" lol After all was said and done, we had our soft and fluffy, nice smelling puppy back. Woo hoo!

Training him has become a bit of a challenge...grrr! We cannot leave him alone in the house, even for a few minutes, without being in the kennell, or else....you know what I'm talking about. He likes to leave us presents! We decided to try and curb that, we would pick up his food/water dish after 7 or 8 every night. It wasn't a problem at all, until last night. Around 9 pm, he was really missing his bowls...he would go to the spot where we put them, and scratch the floor. I ignored that and he decided that he would just find himself some water...we saw him step into the bathroom, and heard his nails scratching the bathtub...I was laughing, because he refuses to let me shower without him in there and always jumps up to the track of the shower door, as soon as I get out, so that he can lap up all the water....that's what I thought he was in there doing...after a minute,I realized that it sounded like he was actually in the tub...lol I walked in there, and sure enough...he was trapped in the tub! lol Anyhow, the night went well...he slept at the foot of my bed, as usual. Around 3 am, I heard him pacing around...I knew that meant I better get up and let him out. We got up and he headed right for his water bowl...I'm a sucker, and gave in...I knew he had to be really thirsty if he was headed for that instead of the door to go outside. So, eventually maybe he will get used to our ritual of water deprivation at night...who knows. I'll just go with the flow and try to hold him off for as long as I can. I think he'll eventually get the hang of it. lol (Or not!)

I have a bunch of pics of him...will try and work on putting them up on here. Might take a while so bear with me.

Ok...I'm outta here for now. Have piles o' work to get caught up on!

Have a great day all!

Here comes Mr. Jordan!

Well, the time has come...I've lost my dad! He passed away early last Thursday morning. My brothers, sisters, and I were all there holding his hands and telling him that it was all gonna be "okay"...even though we were all falling apart ourselves.

I got the call from my brother at 1 am...he woke me saying, "I think you should come, his breathing is really bad!" I got over there and we all took our turns being alone with him...telling him goodbye and how much we loved him. At 3:25 am he took his last breath and we all held ours. I've never actually been witness to anyone taking their last breath before...ugh, that was so hard.

The most amazing thing happened about an hour after he passed...
Even though dad wasn't really alert all that night, we knew he could hear whatever we were saying...he would respond by moving his eyebrows and mumbling to us...he would also grab for one of our hands, if we took it away for a minute. Since he could hear what was going on around us...we left his favorite channel on the tv all night...(the western channel). About an hour and 15 minutes after he passed away, my sister turned the tv station...was just channel surfing basically...my brother was in the room and said "wait a second...turn that back!" My sister turns the tv back a few channels and lo and behold they see something pretty incredible...they both start hollering for all of us to get in there...we all go flying in there to see what's on the tv screen...you ready for this???? On the screen, there was the title of a movie that had just started...it was called..."Here Comes Mr. Jordan"....(my dad's name!)...we were all like "NO WAY!"...we then start reading what the movie is about...it's about someone trying to take over the soul of a boxer that was deceased 50 years prior! None of us could believe it! I am not really one for believing in ghosts and stuff like that...but I think my dad was trying to tell us something there...that's too crazy!

So now, I'm back at work, and trying to resume my life, but I'm still pretty much in shock...I've already been to his funeral, and I still find it hard to believe. Isn't that wild? It's like one of my nieces at the funeral home, she kept saying..."I know that's him, but I don't believe it!" That's pretty much how I'm feeling. It just doesn't seem like it's possible, that he's really gone...almost like he might just be back in Tennessee for a while, and he'll be back once the weather breaks. Maybe it's just easier to think like that right now...I don't know.

I do know this...even though he was a man of very little words...the love I know he had for all of us, was quite apparent and he will be sorely missed by all of us. I will forever be grateful to have had 32 years to spend with him, don't feel like that's enough time but that's what I was given, and that's good enough I guess!!!


I LOVE YOU DADDY! (aka...Mr. Jordan...lol) =)*

Updates...

The weekend was pretty tiring, wasn't home that much. Tried to give my sister a little break and stay with my dad as much as I could. Didn't get ANYTHING accomplished around MY house, other than grocery shopping...(that was only out of necessity). Things are tough for all of us kids...hard sitting around watching what is going on, but we are leaning on each other and that does help.

My oldest brother and I actually went and started making arrangements. Talk about a horrible thing to have to do! Our thinking was that when this does happen, as we know it will, this will be something we don't have to stress about. Almost easier this way. Seems the younger of my 2 sisters really blew up about it...but in the end, she understood that this will be a help in the end.

On to the puppy...

The puppy has turned out to be an incredible addition to the family. We all love him to pieces. I have renamed him Max...one look at him, and the b/f and I decided that he just didn't look like a "Taz". It took about 2 minutes (if that) to decide on Max. He's already accustomed to it too. Almost like he never had another name (or home) for that matter. He came right to me...licked, kissed, and jumped on me like I had been his mommy for all of his life! LOL However, we have found that there is one little "problem" with our wonderful puppy...LOL It seems that our dog doesn't have the strongest of stomachs and more often than not...gets VERY sick in the car. The b/f found this out when he decided that he was gonna take him and show him off to his sister...LOL (He never made it there) Let me just say this, clean up took about 1 1/2 rolls of paper towels, and a few phone calls to me from b/f saying that it was up to me, but he didn't think he wanted to keep "that dog". LOL Now, don't get me wrong, I feel really bad that that happened...but he is just a puppy, get over it dude. I didn't even acknowledge his rantings...just said that I "had to go". By the next morning, he was calling and making sure that I had made it home to let "Maxi" out. LOL Men can be such babies!

Pet therapy is definitely an effective way to reduce stress...even with everything going on in my life right now...I smile when I walk through the door and see that little face bouncing up and down, sooooo happy that mommy is home! =)

P.S. Don't know how many of you have ever seen this, but he actually stands on his hind legs (for long periods of time), with his front paws hanging down and his head tilted to one side. He likes to do that, when I'm sitting on the couch "ignoring" him for a few minutes! LOL What a dog, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Well, almost time to head out. Good day all...blog at ya later.

New puppy.

Well, I'm not sure if I posted about this or not but...last Saturday I had to put down my dog. She was a great natured Siberian Husky, who was going on 16. I really had no choice, she was barely able to get around anymore, she had survived being hit by a truck 2 years ago, had severe arthritis in her back, and just a long long life for a big dog.

It's been really hard to even look in my backyard, because I'm so used to seeing her there that it's kind of shocking when I look out and don't see her. But I know this was all for the best. Still breaks my heart though...why does doing the right thing have to be so hard sometimes???

Anyhow, I've known for a while now that she wouldn't make it much longer and that if I were to think about getting another dog, it would be an indoor small dog. I've been looking here and there, off and on and decided that I would probably be inclined to get either a pug or pekingese...but was open to other suggestions. I told my boyfriend to start checking our local animal shelter, when he was able.

He called me yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to look at a 10-month-old cocker spaniel...I guess one of the girls at the shelter took her only to prevent her from being euthanized, but didn't really have the time to take care of her. I haven't heard real good things about cockers and said that I would maybe see her, but wasn't really too keen on it and probably would decide not to take her. So, we thought about it some more and decided that we would just give her a call and tell her that we would pass. He calls and leaves her a message saying that we were passing on the cocker, but asked if she would keep an eye out for a pekingese or a pug, we would appreciate it. It wasn't 10 minutes later, she called him back and told him that she had just gotten a call from an older couple that was coming to bring a 6-month-old pekingese and drop it off at the shelter! Now what are the chances of this happening???? So, off to the animal shelter he goes...he calls right away to say that he fell in love with it and it looks like we have ourselves a new puppy! Woo hoo. I am so excited. I haven't even seen him yet, but I know that he (Taz) will be a great addition to my house and will definitely cheer me up with all that is going on in my life right now.

Can't wait to meet him!!! Only an hour left to go....will send you an update on Monday...let you all know how the weekend goes!!

Wish me luck! =)

xoxox

Nearing the end...

I think it's almost time to say goodbye to dad. As hard as that is, I can't imagine him being around (or even wanting to be around) for too much longer, with things as they are. He just got out of the hospital last night (had to come home by ambulance), and they have pretty much said that they have done all that they could do. They had planned on putting in some drainage tubes...so that as his lung refills, we could drain this fluid off...they weren't able to do that. Now I guess we have to wait until it fills again and take him back to the hospital as needed. (Don't know how well that will work, he's too stubborn!) Ugh!

I'm trying to prepare myself for what is imminently going to happen...but how do you really do that? It's all very physically and emotionally draining, and most days I just fall into bed feeling exhausted by the end of the day. I'm trying to stay at work as much as I possibly can, and yet spend as much time with him as I can. Working helps to keep me busy, I do need a break from it too, but it doesn't matter where I go or what I really do, he's always on my mind.

We have had the opportunity to be alone and do some real "talking", which has been good. I hope that I have effectively shown him how very much I love him. In fact, the other day he said that he wanted to have a party. When I asked what kind of party, he said that he wanted "a keg and all the food you can eat". I'm hoping that we can arrange something for him!!! It wouldn't be an easy task, with all the oxygen that he's on...kind of hard to even get him out of the house at this point. Maybe we'll just have to do something at my sister's...gonna work on it.

I'm sorry these posts are a tad bit depressing...but this is where I come to vent, instead of laying all this "stuff" on everyone else. It's nice to be able to just say what you feel and not have to worry about it.

Till the next post!!

=)

Too pooped to party.

I'm so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open. I don't like days like this, where you just can't seem to wake up. Already took a shower, did a load of laundry, came in to work...but I still feel like I'm just gonna fall right on my face. Ugh! Hopefully this coffee will do the trick soon.

On the up side, the weather has been absolutely gorgeous around here. I love the spring...the grass is turning green, the leaves are starting to sprout....MY SINUSES ARE KILLING ME! lol Nah, it's all good. All worth it!!!

Anyhow...I know this is short and sweet, but I'm off of here...have to fly.

Have a great day!!!

xoxoxo

Tinker it is!

While here at work a few days ago, I was feeling very frustrated. Felt like everything was closing in on me...kinda like I was being backed into a corner. Can't really tell you why, guess I'm just stressed out! The day took a real turn when I went to see my dad after work though....

For weeks now, I've been racking my brain trying to recall what it is that my dad used to call me when I was a kid (and even through my teenage years). He occassionally used to call me half-pint, but I knew that wasn't it. When I walked in yesterday, he got a huge smile on his face and said..."Hey Tinker!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. That little statement took me right back to when I was a kid and my dad would walk in from work...you could see how tired he was after a long day, but he'd always give me that smile, tousle my hair, and say "Hey Tinker", or "there's my tinker"...something to that effect.

It makes me really miss those days! I was brought up in a family where mom cooked dinner every single night (except for Friday's, when dad would get paid, and we'd head to Red Lobster), we'd all congregate at their house on Sunday's for a huge dinner (even after marriage and children), and we spent lots of time together. The family dynamics have really changed since mom passed away though. We still get together, but usually only on holidays. Mom and dad's house used to be a big revolving door, with all of us kids (and grandkids) in and out all the time. I used to spend Friday nights with my mom. We'd play with my son, who was 1 at the time, and just chill and watch tv or talk. She was one of my very best friends and I could talk to her about anything. How nice that was.

Now to try and imagine life without my dad too, is very sad. He's always been a man of very little words, rather quiet...but that was just his way. What a gentle person he is. He's totally in denial about having cancer, he thinks he is "on the road to recovery", as he tells his friends back in Tennessee. How helpless we all feel, wish there was something we could do to make it better...but there isn't. I'm just grateful that we have today...and maybe tomorrow too, there's only one person who knows the answer to that one....we shall see...

Vampires everywhere....

Most days at work, it feels as though we are being completely drained of all sustenance. I'm not the only one who feels this way either, my best-friend, who also works here, feels exactly the same way. We were talking a little bit about it this morning. It's funny, how we agree that we both walk in to work with a good attitude (on most days) and how, by the time we leave, we feel like the life has been sucked right out of us. Now, some will say that working on the frontlines at a doctors office shouldn't be that hard, that they could easily do it without incident. But here are some examples of the things we hear, see, and smell on a daily basis.

Right now there is a couple in our waiting room that smell so funky, we are about to gag. We have sprayed Lysol a number of times, to no avail. The odor is a cross between years of cigarette smoke, mildew, bad breath, and wet dog. It's making my stomach do summersaults (? spelling), my eyes water a bit, and it's certainly ruining my appetite for lunch. Now, this is quite a common occurence around here...there are all walks of life walking into our office on a daily basis.

Now, not only do we have to deal with the horrific odors, but we also get to try and find out what an Alzheimer's patient wants, when they call on the phone. You want to talk about confusing....these people have no idea what they are even talking about, and yet, we are supposed to "help them". That is no easy task. It's almost like talking to a child, whose language skills are not fully developed yet...you know, the stage where they point and grunt???? (Anyone know where I'm coming from?) Now I'm not poking fun at them, they can't help acting this way, it's actually rather sad. Think about it, I mean really think about it. Imagine yourself in their shoes...here are people that only have memories from way back when...the here and now is gone. My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's and would constantly be paranoid and asking the same questions over and over. She would take all of her bills and hide them, and then accuse others of stealing them. She would go over to my aunt's house and accuse her of stealing all of her food, because she knew she bought the same things and those must be hers! She thought that everyone was out to get her. That's very common with Alzheimer's.

Now for the kinds of things we hear around here...we have a pediatric neurologist in this clinic...which means that at least 2 days out of the week, when he's here, we often get screaming children. Now, these are not your average screaming children, these are developmentally disabled, tourette's syndrome, attention deficit disorder children. While most are adorable, even with the most disfiguring disabilities, there are sometimes the ones who just either get on your last nerve, or absolutely scare the crap out of you! Here's a few examples....we have our share of, what I will call, the "screamers"...these are the children, who for no apparent reason, will begin to scream at the top of their lungs...with no end in sight EVER! (At least that's how it feels on this end!) We also have our little daredevils! There is one patient who I recall coming in and jumping from chair to chair, as if he seriously thought he was a frog...the more I would tell him him that he needed to "stop doing that", the more inspired he became in his plight to make me lose all control of bodily functions and drop dead of a heart attack!!

Don't get me wrong, we have our fair share of really good days here too. We don't have management breathing down our necks...and can pretty much run things as we like here...which makes us very fortunate considering we work for a large corporation.

I guess my point is...let people think that all we do is "sit at a desk and answer phones"...lol The job is much more complex than that, and takes a certain personality not to flip their lid and start taking sedatives while on the job in order to return here 5 days a week! lol

Have a good day everybody!!

Another day...

Yesterday was pretty good...worked and then ran home to clean up a bit, went and did a little shopping and then to see my dad. He was in good spirits (though a little grumbly, from having to go to the hospital). He says we stressed him out, making him go there and have his lung drained, said "they only took out about a liter of fluid". (Like that isn't much at all...lol) Even with his grumbling you can see that he was feeling better after, that's for sure.

Today my sister is really considering going to get him a kitten. Figures it will be something to keep him occupied, and won't be too much maintenance. Our only fear is that it might want to play with his oxygen cord...kittens will be kittens. I told her if it doesn't work out...maybe I would take it. Will have to wait and see what happens on that one. I think it's a great idea. A little pet therapy! lol

This weekend hopefully will be nice and not too eventful...looking forward to getting some things accomplished around the house and having a little bit of peace before my kids come back on Sunday night. Miss them bunches and can't wait to see them!!