Jlybns Daily Adventures

Letter to my son...

2009-12-12T01:14:00.004-05:00

I know that at your age you think that you know everything and that I know nothing. I know you see it as me holding you back and just wanting to "control" you, as you put it...but that's honestly not the case. Believe it or not, I was 16 once too and remember what it felt like to be in your shoes. I remember my friends and boys being so much more important than my family...heck, they would be around forever...I really needed to impress my friends, they might ditch me or make things rough for me at school, if I didn't follow in their footsteps. The problem with that whole scenario is that MOST, not all, of those so called friends will not be in your life 10 years from now. Most of those people you won't talk to after you graduate next year. Or if you do, you probably won't a few years after that. I know that you are a kid and that you just want to hang out with your friends and have fun but my problem with you is that you treat me with no respect in what used to be our home...you act as though you could really care less about me. I will NEVER forget the things you said to me the day you left. And you know what's hilarious about you leaving, is that the last straw for you was getting your hair cut. Something I was doing because I wanted to make things easier on you...I wanted you to be able to SUCCEED at getting a job and looking like a respectable kid. I'm sorry for wanting that for you. I'm sorry that I had a car for you and just asked that you get a job to pay for gas and help pay for insurance, I'm sorry that I asked that you take the trash out and do dishes every once in a while....I really am...because maybe had I not expected anything from you, had I just let you do everything you wanted...we wouldn't be in this mess right now. Had I just put up with the lying and the viruses in my computer and you taking things that weren't yours and treating Tyler like he was the most meaningless person on this planet...everything would probably be okay.

I truly hope that you are happy and that some day in the not so distant future you may stop and realize that I really did love you, that I saw great potential in you and that I knew in my heart of hearts that if you reached for the stars......you could grab 'em!!!!

One year later...

2009-12-06T22:55:00.002-05:00

I've barely thought about this blog for months now and what are the chances that I'd decide to log in exactly one year later and just feel the need to write?! lol Hard to recap one year but that's what I'm gonna do.

As per usual there have been some major ups and downs. For a while there, I'd almost given up on my relationship with Brian. Things were pretty bad between us. We could barely have a conversation, let alone do anything constructive. There was a point where I was actually looking at apartments and I was going to move out of the house. I couldn't see how things could even turn around. We had both become angry and resentful and it was just not a relationship I could even contemplate staying in. I finally told him that I was moving out and somehow it turned everything around. I can't say that we haven't had our moments since then but that was definitely a turning point. Somehow we have found a way to work it out and I think we are stronger for it. He truly is my best friend and I know in my heart that my life just wouldn't/couldn't be the same without him in it. It's nice to have a happy healthy relationship again. I don't take it for granted.

There have been major changes with the kids as well. My oldest started getting in trouble in August and decided that he didn't want to deal with the consequences of his actions and that he'd be better off living with his dad. While I certainly didn't want him to leave, at the same time after getting into a huge argument with him over HAVING HIS HAIR CUT and him telling me that he's always wanted to live with his dad, I decided to let him go and see if the grass really was greener. Our relationship is still strained and uncomfortable, which just kills me inside but I know it is for the best. The house is so much calmer without him and his brother fighting constantly, Tyler is doing much better and is happier and my relationship with Brian is so much less strained because there just isn't constant animosity and stress.

I did have to go to court last week because my ex was petitioning for custody of my youngest as well, but it didn't go his way and no change was made. He did get actual custody of Corey, which is fine because there isn't any turning back with him now. There's no way he could come back here and everything just work out. He's far too used to not having rules, he is disrespectful to his dad and tells him to F*** off when he doesn't get his way, all of his grades have dropped from A's to B's and C's and he's already had a car accident and left the scene. Thank goodness noone was hurt and he said it happened because he was scared and didn't know what to do but the point is...he has no guidance and has made it quite clear that he has no respect for me and my opinion so I pretty much keep my opinions to myself. Hopefully, he can look back on all of this and realize that I truly was trying my best to do what was best for him...I pray for that day. In the meantime, I will spend every other weekend with him and just do the best I can at sticking to my guns and being a mom.

We acquired 2 dogs about 3 months ago...they are black cocker and britney spaniel mixes. Adorable, but tons of work at the same time. To this day, they wake us up at 6 something in the morning HOWLING at the top of their lungs. It isn't pretty...just like having babies but I'm hoping that they will mellow out in time. One is very mild mannered, while the other is just crazy! lol

Well, I think that about wraps it up for now. It's been nice to write again, since it's been so long. I hope everyone is doing well...not that anyone probably even looks at this anymore but if so... :0) just for you!!!

How the time flies....

2008-12-06T17:47:00.002-05:00

It's been ages since I have posted. Time really seems to escape me these days. Since I have last caught everyone up to speed...there have been so many changes in my life. Last post was about my mom but before that was about the annual boat trip, the one that I never ended up going on....

So, here is a very abbreviated update on everything that has been happening in the past 15 months....

8-21-07 Brian and I broke up

From that moment on...I was losing my marbles and acting like a fool. I didn't hardly ever stay home...was too hard to be there with my emotions. I walked 3 miles almost every single day, barely slept, worked and could not find a way to get a meal down. I partied like a rock star and did anything and everything I could to never be alone.

11-26-07 Brian contacted me and we talked about reconciliation. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. He walked out on me...something I thought that he would/could never do and there was so much hurt and pain, I didn't know if I could get past that and move on with him.

Of course I did decide to give him that chance and I'm really glad that I did. I was truly a mess without him in my life. As much as I hated him for the hurt he caused, I knew in my heart that I didn't want to try living without him for another second!

2-21-08 We bought a new house and started fixing it up. We got a good deal on it and it needed lots of love, but it's been well worth it. The house has turned out beautifully!

For 7 months we painted every room, tore out old carpet, installed new carpet, laminate floors, picked out countertops and sinks, etc. (You know the drill).

8-12-08 My best friend's dad lost his battle with cancer! Was very hard to handle but I'm glad that he's no longer in pain!

8-20-08 Went on the boat trip...it was great, and we had a wonderful time!!!!

9-20-08 We finally moved into our new house! Woo hoo!

11-26-08 (Thanksgiving) was spent in our new house...it was a great day with much to be thankful for!!! My side of the family came over and it was a tradition we really hope to keep going for years to come!!!

And here we are....19 days before Christmas. Everything is coming together and I'm in a happy place!!!

I've literally come full circle in the time since Ive last posted. Been at my worst and now just happy to be where I'm at....doesn't get any better!

MY MOM! XOXOX

2008-07-31T12:11:00.003-04:00

Today is the 14th anniversary of my mom passing. I know I haven't written in a very long time and I will have to catch up on this past year at another time. What I want to write about today, is of course, my mom.

I was trying to sleep last night and just couldn't. Even though I was exhausted, my mind wouldn't/couldn't stop. I looked at the clock at 11:44 pm and realized that it was only minutes away from the time 14 years ago when I got that call.

It was my sister-in-law who woke me around 12:40 am to tell me that my mom was gone. I don't remember exactly what she said, I just remember screaming at her and calling her a liar! I remember gut wrenching sobs escaping me and just being furious. Not knowing what else to do...I cried and cried until I fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion. I honestly couldn't believe any of it was happening...

I had talked to my mom the morning before...it was just like any other day. She said that she was going to bingo and I had planned on bringing my son over there to visit later. She said..."Okay, I'll see you then"! We said our usual 'I love you' and hung up. That was the last time I spoke to her. The last words spoken between us.

Until I lost my mom, I really took a lot for granted. I really never stopped to think that I should savor every moment and make the most of every single day and to never let a day go by without telling the people you love, just that. That you love 'em!

Now I really have a different view, a whole new perspective. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Before losing my mom, I had never even been to a funeral. (Yes, I was sheltered!) And I had never lost anybody close to me. Since then, I have been to far too many funerals. I've watched my dad take his last breath. I've said goodbyes to both of my grandmothers, 3 uncles, and many more.

What I'm getting at here, is that while I think (actually, I know) I will always have a void in my heart and will miss holidays and many other 'little' things spent with both of my parents and others I've lost...I'm going to try and celebrate all that I do have and not wallow in the past.

Today, I will make my usual homage to the cemetary. I will kiss my kids and tell them I love 'em and make sure to give Brian an extra hug and kiss too.

Life goes on....and I'm gonna live it. I know my mom would approve of that!

2007-08-26T23:44:00.000-04:00

I made it through...

2007-08-16T10:19:00.000-04:00

Last post I was a little distraught about my mom. I did wind up taking a trip to the cemetary and it was just what I needed! I really do miss her! Holidays, her birthday, Mother's Day and the anniversary of her death really still bother me, even after all this time...but it has gottten a little bit better. I miss my dad too, but in a different way than I miss my mom.

It's really funny how most mother's seem to be the foundation of families. I miss her courageous strength, her laughter, her guidance when there was something I was facing that I just had no clue how to handle...etc. I miss her sauteed cinnamon apples, her roast and fried chicken and pork chops. Kinda funny, that I would miss something like that...but I just can't help it. I miss her looking at my little boy with unconditional love. And regret so much, that she never got to spend time with Tyler. However, I know that there are reasons for everything that happens and even though I still have no clue what those reasons could possibly be...they are there. Maybe I will find out someday...

Anyhow...on to other things.

Only 5 days until the yearly boat trip...I really look forward to it. The ex is actually stepping up and taking the boys during this trip. I think it's only because it was an agreement that was made during the last court adventure...but still, it will be nice to not have to worry about the kids while I'm gone this time. The previous 2 years, I've had to beg, borrow and steal to arrange for people to watch the kids for 10 days straight. Isn't an easy task, trust me.

I'm already very much in vacation mode and feel like just chilling, but have so much to do to prepare for this. As always, laundry needs to be caught up, I need to pack and get a bunch of food/things together for the time we are gone. It's always kind of hard to try and think of everything that you could possibly need for 10 days...always something that's necessary, but forgotten. Making my lists!!! Checking them twice!!! Wish me luck!! ;0)

On the home front, my kids are doing well. But they are reversing roles...where I was having tons of issues with Tyler....Corey is now the frontrunner for needing an ass whupping!! Why is that we even have to go through these teenage years??? Anyone know??? If you do, could you share it with me??? I want my sweet baby back, but I know that is unrealistic. I guess I will just work with the little monster I have and see what happens! For now anyhow. But I'm thinking that he should be A-F-R-A-I-D, very afraid...cuz mom is really done playing!

Well, I'm off for now...I have lists to write and too many things to think about. I hope ya'll are good (yeah, I'm brushing up on my Tennessee accent). Will try and check in when I get back after 9-1!

13 years!

2007-07-31T11:34:00.000-04:00

Today marks the 13th anniversary of my mom passing! It is weighing on my mind heavily and I think I might be paying a visit to the cemetary after work today! I think I need to...might clear my head a bit...

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU MOM!!!

XOXOX

What are the chances?

2007-07-26T09:52:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday July 17th, Brian's dad went in for elective back surgery. We arrived at his house around 6:15 that morning. We were greeted by his sister Gayle, who told us that it wasn't such a good morning. Just as she said that, I started to hear some moaning coming from the bathroom. His mom was in there, standing in front of the mirror trying to put some makeup on. I could tell she was in a lot of pain. Gayle said that she had gone to the basement to look for her cell phone and winded up tripping. When Gayle got there and knocked on the door and nobody answered, she pulled out her key and went in. As she got through the door, she saw her mom at the top stair leading from the basement...crawling. She was telling Gayle to be quiet, "I don't want Bill to find out!" LOL Gayle says, "Mom, unless you make a miraculous recovery, dad's gonna find out!" She tripped over the cord for the iron, and said that she tried to just shake it off, but she couldn't put weight on it...she crawled halfway across the basement and then all the way up the stairs. Ugh.

So, we get his mom in a rolling chair, take her to the front door. From there Brian and his other sister Cindy take over and practically carry her to the vehicle. We pile in and head to the hospital. Bill walks in (mind you, he's the one actually having surgery), and we get a wheelchair for Wanda. Up to the surgical floor, Bill gets prepped and surgery is due to start at 9. Around 10, we say our goodbyes and his surgery is started. We are told it will be at least 3 hours, so we head to get some breakfast. After eating, we convince her that it would be a good idea to just get an x-ray, "just to have some peace of mind". After trying to maneuver in the restroom and being in lots of pain, she finally relents. But not after coming up with several excuses and wanting to brush it off...excuses like...I just jammed it, I will sit and soak in a hot bath tonight, I probably just pulled some ligaments, I will go tomorrow. It was truly like dealing with a child or a man!! LOL

Anyhow, after a small stint in ER and much speculation about what we really thought was going on...her doctor came in and delivered the blow. Wanda had fractured the head of her patella and would require surgery and pins to correct it. She was devastated. Here she thought that she could be there and help Bill recover from his surgery and now is told, that she'll be recovering from surgery as well. She feels like she has let him down and is just beside herself. Meanwhile, Bill is in surgery and has no idea what is happening. His surgery winds up taking almost 8 hours and it's almost 9 that evening, before we can even go in recovery and see him. Even at that point, he probably didn't even realize that we were there, due to him being overly sedated. At the same time, Wanda was being admitted and scheduled for surgery. At least they put them in the same room, which was nice. When Bill woke up the next morning, they pulled the curtain and she told him the news. His mental status hasn't been that great since the surgery, so who knows how much he really understood, but I think by now, he's gotten the gist of it.

It took them almost 2 days to get Wanda's surgery done, but she had it done around Midnight on the 19th and was transferred to rehab on the 21st. She is doing great, better and better everyday. Things with his dad have really been touch and go though. He developed a blood clot, they worried about seizures or a possible stroke. For days, he wasn't coherent, would mumble stuff all day long. He didn't eat anything for the first 5 days. It's been an uphill battle, that's for sure. But he is doing somewhat better. He can sit in a chair for a few hours, he can make some conversation, and is eating a lot better. They were talking about transferring him to the rehab clinic where his wife is today, but I don't think he's ready for that. He really can't do much of anything on his own yet. Hopefully soon...Wanda gave him the window view and is literally almost counting the seconds until she can see him again. That will be a sight to behold...

Will try and keep you updated....

Sharing...

2007-07-12T14:22:00.000-04:00

Just had to share this.... Nice, huh?

I am still here...

2007-07-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am still around...just been absorbed in working, many graduation parties, weddings, and wedding showers. We have been on the run for the past few months and time has just kinda slipped away from me...

Last week we were supposedly on vacation, and while it was very nice. We had all 4 of the kids and were basically on the run then too. We did hit the pool a few times and also the lake for our first jet-skiing trip of the season...that was lots of fun. We also went to a bonfire at his sister's, to the drive-in (where everyone was sound asleep, not long into the second show), to a BBQ on the 4th and also took in the Tigers game in a suite with some fireworks too! I went and saw another movie with my sister and Brian actually spent our last day of vacation at work. They called him in at 4 a.m. because they had gone through the whole list and no one else would work. (Of course he shot out of bed, with dollars in his eyes...it winded up being 14 hours of double time!) LOL

This week, I'm just trying to get back in the swing of being back to work and we again have tons planned. Tomorrow is my oldest sons birthday...he is turning 14. Friday is Brian's birthday and also we are expecting a handful of friends and family over for the fireworks that night. On Saturday, it's yet another graduation party and a fireworks display that evening; with all the food you can eat, karaoke, and plenty for the kids to do. On Sunday, we got coupons for $5 wrist bands for unlimited rides at the carnival, so that is where we will be. I'm sure next Monday will be here before I know it and though we will have lots of fun...I don't think there will be any rest for the weary.

The kids are sucking up bigtime. Hoping for everything their little hearts desire for their respective birthdays. (The youngest has one in just 2 weeks, and I mentioned that Corey's is actually tomorrow.) I usually see their best behavior just before Christmas and their b-days! LOL

Brian and I haven't set a date to get married as of yet. Our plan is to take off to Vegas, with or without letting everyone know ahead of time, still not sure. His mother insists on having some sort of "party" when we get back, but it's not something that's truly necessary for me. He says that he wants to plan it and just surprise me, with everything already done. (Not much of a surprise, when he's already told me about it). But I think it's just a ruse to stall the whole thing until he's good and ready. Not sure.

Peanutt's dad seems to be doing better...all done with chemo and they are saying that his results look good. He still has some more testing to go through and possibly more treatment...but so far, so good.

That's about it for me...will try and stop in a little bit more!!! Hope everyone is doing well.

Free Netflix Drawing!

2007-06-07T15:36:00.000-04:00

Head on over to 5 minutes for mom's site to get in on a free Netflix drawing! Good luck!

Hey Baby Let's Go To Vegas...

2007-05-11T12:31:00.000-04:00

As of 12:02 a.m. 4-28-07, we were officially engaged! I never actually thought it would happen, but he pulled through! It wasn't at a restuarant, or on the beach...he wasn't even on one knee...but it was a night that I will never forget and sweeter and more heartfelt than anything ANYONE has ever said to me!!!

(See the hearts looming over my head, the clouds floating around me, the bells ringing??? Do ya?)

It's been almost 2 weeks now and yes, I still have to pinch myself at times...still hard to believe. We've come a long way in these past few years. And yes, there are many issues still to work on...but I'm glad to be working on them with him and really do look forward to growing old with someone I feel I'm just meant to be with!

Just try and wipe the smile off my face! =0)~~~

You won't believe this!

2007-05-09T11:22:00.000-04:00

It took almost 3 1/2 years, but I finally got Brian to change his mind about the whole marriage thing. He has been the first to say that he will never go down that road again, that anyone getting married is a "sucker" or various other similar things...but something in him has finally changed!

A few months ago, I met a friend of his from work. After I left, that friend told Brian that he really saw 'love in my eyes' for him, but added that that would certainly change after we got married. When Brian relayed this to me, because I was tired of months of trying to talk to Brian and sway him the other way, and trying to rally for him to feel the same way about marriage that I did...I gave up that day. I told Brian to tell his friend that I would always have love in my eyes for him, because we were never getting married. He didn't say a word and we didn't speak the rest of the day...I had no idea that he was mad or upset. Not a frickin' clue.

When we got home from work that day, he was acting kinda funny. So, I ask him what was up...he says, "what you said earlier really hurt my feelings!" I didn't even have a clue as to what I had said. He goes on to say that he's really been thinking about getting married and why would I say that that was never going to happen??? I told him that I was tired of feeling hurt that we would never have that bond between us, that I could see he wasn't willing to take that leap of faith with me...so I was done worrying about it.

Well, that's when the tables really turned. Suddenly, he was willing to look at rings and marriage wasn't a forbidden topic any longer. But I stopped worrying about it too. If it was gonna happen, it was just gonna happen. We took a day off a few months ago and we looked at some rings then. We didn't find anything worthwhile and just left it at that. We took another day off, about a month ago. Went to lunch with his parents and had some errands to run. After getting everything done for that day, out of the clear blue, he was asking if I wanted to check out some rings. Of course, sucker that I am...I said "yes!"

We just headed to the mall and in the very first store, after trying out several...we found "the ring". We both fell in love with it and after discussing it, and him applying for some credit there, the ring is mine.

More details to follow....

My daddy...

2007-04-22T18:59:00.000-04:00

Yesterday marked the 2-year anniversary since my dad passed away. It had been weighing on my mind all week. I was dreading the day, knowing that I would probably be a wreck and just wanna lay in bed and do nothing but cry. But actually, it didn't even hit me until about 7 last night. Oddly enough, I got up and did my cleaning, got dinner in the crock pot, went and played some basketball with Bri and the kids...all before noon. (For anyone who knows me, this is certainly a record.)

See, I'm not much of a morning person and usually don't really motivate until 10:30 or 11 on a weekend! I like my chill time! But for some bizarre reason, I found myself right up out of bed doing laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, kitchen, windows, etc. I just wanted to get everything out of the way, so I could actually enjoy the rest of the day. After playing basketball, I was dying for a deli sandwich...so that's what we had. I sat on the porch with my next door neighbor and we talked and were swinging away for a good hour. I laid down and took a cat nap late in the afternoon and then got up and finished dinner. Roast, mashed potatoes and green beens...all of which were wonderful. I chilled with Bri for a while until he took the kids to his parents house for the night. Once he got home, we played Party Poker for about 45 minutes, and we called it a day.

I never cried! Not one tear! And still today, I have not cried. I'm actually proud of myself for this! Instead of hiding under my covers crying and refusing to face the day....I lived and actually enjoyed my day! This is a major accomplishment!!!

While I miss my dad so very much I couldn't even put it into words...I know that he's okay. He's spending eternity with the woman he loved more than anything in this world! His life was never right, since the day that my mom was taken from him and now he has her back. He isn't in pain, he doesn't have high blood pressure, diabetes, his legs aren't swollen...he doesn't have to take the strongest pain meds to mask the pain that was caused by his cancer. He doesn't have to sit in the middle of a livingroom, with us around while he uses the restroom...or carry oxygen tanks. I'm glad for that! I'm happy for him!

I miss him so very much...but know that he really is where he belongs and there will be a day when I can see him again!

RIP Daddy!!! I love you!!!

Tinker!

Good feelin...

2007-04-07T23:01:00.000-04:00

It doesn't get any better than just chillin' out after a day of utter chaos! I'm so very tired right now, and know that if I laid down, I would just be done...out like a light. But I really don't feel like doing that. Just wanna be alone with my thoughts, for the moment.

The past few weeks have been a blur....with a sewer backup and my youngest having some major issues. It hasn't been pleasant, but I truly believe that the worst of it is over.

Seems that there is a select bunch, eight (to be exact), that are picking on my son at school. They have made him so miserable that he's been spending his lunches sulking in rooms by himself and pretty much not communicating with anyone. He just totally shut down. Several times, I've almost wished that he would have just knocked their blocks off, to let them know that he's not just gonna sit around and take it...that he's actually had enough! (Now I know that you all might be thinking...'wth is that loser mom saying'...but I just can't help it. Ty shouldn't be the one getting in trouble/being totally sad over this.)

We finally got a few of the teachers, principal, Tyler and myself all together to come up with a school/behavior plan. Hopefully this will serve to meet all of our needs and he can resume just being a kid and being happy when going to school!! Without getting sad or mad!

I am all set for Easter and am so glad that I decided to go to Peanutt's house to color eggs last night, instead of waiting until today. Since the kids no longer believe in such a thing as the Easter Bunny...I let them make their own basket this time around. They also made one for Bri's kids. They did a really great job. If my camera worked correctly, and I could actually dump my pics on here...I'd share! But I guess you will just have to take my word for it.

Off to my sister's tomorrow for dinner! I went and made the potatoes today, so that all she'll have to do is put them in the oven in the morning! I still have devilled eggs and banana pudding to make, but that won't be nothing, to finish up in the morning.

Well, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, whatever you might be up to! Hope the Easter Bunny brings many wonderful delights!!!

TGIF!

2007-03-02T17:14:00.000-05:00

Haven't had a whole lot of things to really write about, but thought I would give a shout out anyhow. Here's the latest....

* My niece just had a bouncing baby girl...Isabelle. She weighed in at 8 lbs. 3 oz. and almost 20 inches. I haven't had the chance to go see her yet, but I did listen to her cooing, while on the phone with her momma. Can't wait to see her!!!! Gonna try and make my way to the hospital after work.

* Brian just turned in his truck, his lease was up. Lucky for him, he had another vehicle, so he didn't have to lease or buy anything...but we are now finding out, that he probably should have. We took it to our friend/mechanic for some 'simple' repairs...fixing a latch on the back door, the cruise control, getting the a/c running, etc. We are now looking at almost $4,000 in repairs. He has replaced almost everything except the engine and transmission. All of Bri's overtime hours (which has been about 40-60 per week) are now going to the mechanic. Sucks.

* My best friend's dad has just been diagnosed with bladder ca and has started his chemo. On the bright side, this is day 3 and he's doing great with absolutely no symptoms. I hope and pray that it continues to go this well.

* My kids are with their dad this weekend...I have some alone time with Brian to look forward to. Oh wait, that's right, he works continuously....and yep, there are 4 water main breaks going right at this moment (Friday 5pm)...if he stays to work them....I won't be seeing him until tomorrow morning or afternoon. LOL Never fails.

Well, that's about it. I'm getting ready to leave work and head home to the boys. I'm sure it will be a peacful and uneventful evening. Everyone send a prayer Peanutt's way for her daddy and have a wonderful weekend!

NOTHING MUCH!

2007-02-27T11:43:00.000-05:00

Not a whole heck of a lot going on here, but I thought I would check in, regardless. The kids are on winter break and I think they are enjoying the time off. I know that momma is...because it means that I can sleep for an extra 1/2 hour, every morning. That's definitely a good thing.

Brian has been pretty much missing in action. He has been working up to 110 hours a week with all the water main breaks that have been popping up around here. I really miss spending time with him. At this point, it pretty much feels like a luxury, when we actually get to do something so mundane as eat dinner together, or run to the store...silly I know, but I'm stinkin' lonely. I can say that we have been getting along pretty well though. LOL

Work is the usual. Nothing too exciting, at all. Just putting in my time and going home and forgetting about it at the end of the day. People are extraordinarily rude lately, but whatever! I'm used to being treated like a dog! LOL

Well, I really think that's about it. Gonna shop for a while and then maybe get around to some of your sites!

Have a good day!

Just a fantasy...

2007-01-30T20:14:00.000-05:00

Have you ever counted the days, minutes, and seconds until something was going to happen? Have you ever wanted something so badly that you felt like every minute was an eternity? Have you ever played the scene in your head a million times, knowing that when this monumental thing happened...it would make you happier than you could have even imagined?

Yeah, that was today for me....

Know what happened in the end????

Total and utter disappointment! Ugh!

Bad blogger, job interview, and organizing my life.

2007-01-11T21:23:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know that I have to be one of the worst bloggers...evah!!! I've been disappearing for months on end...I lurk more than actually comment anymore, when I do actually take the time to comment, it's random...etc etc. But cut me some slack. I just haven't had anything all that interesting to write about, and at work, I was kind of getting addicted to MSNBC's peculiar news listings. Anyhow, I'm not gonna promise that I'm going to be sitting in front of my computer to blog every single night of the week...but I am gonna try and maybe be a little bit better about it.

Tomorrow at 1 p.m. I have a job interview. (Enter scary music here)...I haven't had an interview in 16 years, this is pretty nerve-racking! I'm not quitting my full-time job, but just trying to pick up some part-time hours in the evenings, at home. This way, I won't have to "leave" my kids any more than I already have to, and I really can use the extra cash!! Don't know if this is going to be my cup of tea...doing transcription, but I am certainly willing to give it a try, if given the opportunity.

Now onto the organization part. There was a time in my life, even after kids, when anybody could have walked into my house, (at any given time), and I would not have been the least bit embarassed about having you there spur of the moment like that. Well, my friends, that time is gone! I have become such a slacker when it comes to the way my house looks, that I would probably die if someone that wasn't related to me showed up here. Not that it's disgustingly filthy, or you would be afraid to sit down on my couch...but you will find the occasional dust bunny rolling over my desk, you will find that my kitchen table has crumbs on it, and don't walk into the basement...cuz it's just full of crap that really has no business even being there.

Well, I'm doing my best to try and revert back to my old ways. This week, I've been coming home and trying to accomplish at least one small task, clean a drawer here...rearrange stuff there...etc. In the next few weeks I would like to;

1) clean the basement, including the separate bedroom down there.
2) start moving my son downstairs
3) convert his room into an office
4) finish painting my bathroom (that's been half done for over a year)

Hopefully, I will be able to accomplish at least a majority of all of this stuff! We shall see.

Cross your fingers that tomorrow goes well for me!!!

2006-12-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

Some Vegas pics...yes I know, I'm late in posting! This is the crew with the Temptations at Legends! I have some Elvis pics too...will have to post later!

2006-12-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

Us with a mime in the Venetian Casino.

2006-12-08T22:13:00.000-05:00

Standing in front of the waterfall at the condo pool.

2006-12-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

In front of the Paris Casino!

2006-12-08T22:10:00.000-05:00

Brian and I at Lake Mead near Hoover Dam!

Gone too long...

2006-12-05T22:14:00.000-05:00

I'm sure that not many of you have even checked this link in quite a while, it's been dead for so long...why bother? LOL But I am alive and well...just been taking a much needed break.

Stress has been running rampant and really taking a toll on me. Life is a bit of a roller coaster ride and I'm hoping that my ride is about to end...but the gate isn't in sight just yet.

Finances have been pretty tough, I've been working to try and keep my kids on track in school, at home, and in the way that they treat each other and Brian and I are still working at living together and getting our financial ducks in a row.

The past month has also been filled with more deaths than I even care to think about. Our nurse at work lost her dad and grandma in the same week...so we had to take her shifts and add them onto ours to cover...no big thing and the extra cash came in handy, but it was very sad to watch her struggle through it. But she's back to work and doing well now, so that's definitely a good thing. Still very sad though.

My best-friend also lost someone very near and dear to her, due to the war. That hasn't been easy because she really struggled to deal with it and I was left feeling useless, because I knew that there really wasn't anything I could do to just make it better for her. She's also doing pretty well with it now...still has her moments, but she's better.

Now, a good friend of mine has just lost her brother, (who was only in his 40's), to cancer. He was a wonderful guy, with a great big heart and I'm truly gonna miss him! He was like another big brother to me, and even though we didn't see each other all that often...when we saw each other, it was always like a day never went by without us keeping in touch. I loved that about him. Just always happy and he had a way of making that happy-go-lucky attitude rub off on you...even when you didn't want it to! LOL So tomorrow, I head to the funeral home after work and see Mikey for the last time. Not something I look forward to, but isn't that just the way life goes?

So, now I am trying to get my Christmas shopping out of the way and get the gumption to get the tree up. Terrible, I know...it's almost mid-December! I'm banking on this weekend to get the job done. Pray that my weekend doesn't get too "hectic" with other useless stuff and that I actually get it done!

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the holiday season!