Last week I probably would have written much more, had I not been stressed to the max. It seemed that everything that possibly could go wrong, absolutely did! I was frustrated and stressed to the point that I was starting to have major anxiety attacks. My brain, no-matter how much I told it to, just would not stop, and it was literally making me sick! My ex has lost his girlfriend and his house and is now determined to make my life a living hell, once again. I am leaving for a 10 day vacation in a matter of 9 days from now. Last week, he drops the..."I have nowhere for the kids to stay while your on vaca", bomb. I was furious, and we ended up reverting back to our old ways with much screaming, yelling, and me hanging up on his loser ass! I was mortified that he knew about this for a year, reassuring me this whole time that it was no problem, and now just 2 weeks before the fact, he was doing this shit only because his life sucks and he wants me to be miserable too. I know he COULD have made arrangements if he wanted to. The fact remains, that I am his EX-WIFE and he feels that I should live as miserably as he is at the moment, and that really pisses me off. His life affecting mine at all, pisses me off! I thought him worming his way into my life was all a part of the past. Funny how he will always find a way! So, I had that to contend with. To top it off, money is very tight right now (due to lack of child support and income taxes being due soon). So what that means, is that Brian is gonna have to foot the bill for both of our upcoming vacations, and to help out by way of utilities, the house payment, etc. Now I know that there's nothing wrong with him contributing, while the fact remains that he does live there. What's really bothering me, is having to ask for his help. Of course, he says that he doesn't mind at all...that it's absolutely no problem. But I still feel needy, for some reason. Kinda like a charity case. It takes me back a few years ago, when I was ready to beg, borrow, or steal in order to just get by. (While the divorce was going on). When often, I had to rely on everyone else in order to stay afloat. I DO NOT LIKE THIS FEELING! It really messes with my psyche and my ego. While I realize that it's necessary right now, it still eats away at me. Am I wrong for feeling like this? How would any of you feel?
~~ON THE LIGHTER SIDE~~
Last week I said that I had another funny to tell about the trip. So, without further adieu, here's my story...
I already mentioned that Bri's nephew and his gf came up for a few days. On the first day that they were in, we drove to the little BP that's about 10 minutes away. It has racks of magazines, that are all bundled and sold in packs of 3's for like $4. They are good magazines, but they are a month or so old. We didn't care, it was reading material for the week. We got a few packets of magazines and that was that. There was redbook, cosmo, allure, oprah, etc.
Well, the following day, Brian's mom starts reading Cosmo. You know what kind of articles are in there, don't you? I'm sure that I don't need to draw a picture for you...most of you know that lots of their articles are sexually oriented. So that next afternoon, she's in the cabin reading, we are out on the jet skis. We come in after a few hours and here comes Charley's gf, she's laughing hysterically and saying, "Oh my gosh, you guys just missed it!" I ask her what she's talking about, and she says that Brian's mom has "done it again". Now this woman, while one of the most loving people that I've ever met, she is possibly one of the blondest (if that's even a word) women too! She does some really funny shit on a regular basis!
Apparently, she was reading Cosmo and had the book open on her chest when she fell asleep. They didn't think much of it, but happened to glance over at the article that the book was open to. It happened to be, "Does your relationship need a vibrator?" After seeing that, they were all trying to contain their laughter (and failing miserably) and running around trying to find their cameras, without much luck. She woke up from all the ruckus and was wondering what was going on. When she looked up at the article laying there on her chest, she figured it out pretty quickly and slapped the book shut.