Saturday, December 12, 2009

Letter to my son...

I know that at your age you think that you know everything and that I know nothing. I know you see it as me holding you back and just wanting to "control" you, as you put it...but that's honestly not the case. Believe it or not, I was 16 once too and remember what it felt like to be in your shoes. I remember my friends and boys being so much more important than my family...heck, they would be around forever...I really needed to impress my friends, they might ditch me or make things rough for me at school, if I didn't follow in their footsteps. The problem with that whole scenario is that MOST, not all, of those so called friends will not be in your life 10 years from now. Most of those people you won't talk to after you graduate next year. Or if you do, you probably won't a few years after that. I know that you are a kid and that you just want to hang out with your friends and have fun but my problem with you is that you treat me with no respect in what used to be our act as though you could really care less about me. I will NEVER forget the things you said to me the day you left. And you know what's hilarious about you leaving, is that the last straw for you was getting your hair cut. Something I was doing because I wanted to make things easier on you...I wanted you to be able to SUCCEED at getting a job and looking like a respectable kid. I'm sorry for wanting that for you. I'm sorry that I had a car for you and just asked that you get a job to pay for gas and help pay for insurance, I'm sorry that I asked that you take the trash out and do dishes every once in a while....I really am...because maybe had I not expected anything from you, had I just let you do everything you wanted...we wouldn't be in this mess right now. Had I just put up with the lying and the viruses in my computer and you taking things that weren't yours and treating Tyler like he was the most meaningless person on this planet...everything would probably be okay.

I truly hope that you are happy and that some day in the not so distant future you may stop and realize that I really did love you, that I saw great potential in you and that I knew in my heart of hearts that if you reached for the could grab 'em!!!!

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