Sunday, April 22, 2007

My daddy...


Yesterday marked the 2-year anniversary since my dad passed away. It had been weighing on my mind all week. I was dreading the day, knowing that I would probably be a wreck and just wanna lay in bed and do nothing but cry. But actually, it didn't even hit me until about 7 last night. Oddly enough, I got up and did my cleaning, got dinner in the crock pot, went and played some basketball with Bri and the kids...all before noon. (For anyone who knows me, this is certainly a record.)

See, I'm not much of a morning person and usually don't really motivate until 10:30 or 11 on a weekend! I like my chill time! But for some bizarre reason, I found myself right up out of bed doing laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, kitchen, windows, etc. I just wanted to get everything out of the way, so I could actually enjoy the rest of the day. After playing basketball, I was dying for a deli sandwich...so that's what we had. I sat on the porch with my next door neighbor and we talked and were swinging away for a good hour. I laid down and took a cat nap late in the afternoon and then got up and finished dinner. Roast, mashed potatoes and green beens...all of which were wonderful. I chilled with Bri for a while until he took the kids to his parents house for the night. Once he got home, we played Party Poker for about 45 minutes, and we called it a day.

I never cried! Not one tear! And still today, I have not cried. I'm actually proud of myself for this! Instead of hiding under my covers crying and refusing to face the day....I lived and actually enjoyed my day! This is a major accomplishment!!!

While I miss my dad so very much I couldn't even put it into words...I know that he's okay. He's spending eternity with the woman he loved more than anything in this world! His life was never right, since the day that my mom was taken from him and now he has her back. He isn't in pain, he doesn't have high blood pressure, diabetes, his legs aren't swollen...he doesn't have to take the strongest pain meds to mask the pain that was caused by his cancer. He doesn't have to sit in the middle of a livingroom, with us around while he uses the restroom...or carry oxygen tanks. I'm glad for that! I'm happy for him!

I miss him so very much...but know that he really is where he belongs and there will be a day when I can see him again!

RIP Daddy!!! I love you!!!

Tinker!

1 comment:

Wethyb said...

Awww, what a wonderful post! I'm so proud of you too, that you enjoyed the day and made the best of it. I know it can't be easy (I've never lost a parent), but you did good girl! Your daddy's lookin' down on you smiling and proud as a peacock :)