Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Always something...

As I said before, my life is always full of drama....it seems that there is never a dull moment, that's for sure.

My family is going through some very big trials right now. A few weeks ago, my siblings and I were informed, that my father has stage IV lung cancer. Mind you, before all of this happening (about 3 weeks ago), my dad lived independently out of state; loved gardening, canning, and hanging out with his friends. My brothers, sisters, and I all made our trips to Tennessee while he spent just under 2 weeks in the hospital with a lung that was constantly in need of draining. Once released from the hospital, he made the decision to return to Michigan with us, yet somehow I'm not too sure that's what he really wants. (Hard to tell, because he is not the best patient, and doesn't want us to be "bothered" with him.) He gets agitated when we are doing things for him. As much as I'm trying to understand how he must be feeling...it's very frustrating for all of us, who really love him and don't mind doing the things that we have to do for him. He tries so hard not to let us see how much pain he is in, everything must be on his own terms...if you say "why don't you lay down for a while and relax?"...he will say..."I'M NOT TIRED", and then end up lying down 5 minutes later! He is as stubborn as a mule.

Since returning here to Michigan, he has seen the oncologist who basically said that he is too weak for chemo or radiation, so he offered a pill. The pill is supposed to have very little side effects...but he insists that he isn't going to do any treatment. So now, instead of them saying he has 1-2 years...he has been told 4-6 weeks. Just having him diagnosed with lung cancer has been a huge blow to all of us...now to try and digest that my dad only has a few weeks to live...we are completely devastated.

I've been coming into work every day and then pretty much going straight over to my sister's so that I can help out, cook dinner, stay the night...whatever she needs me to do. I think we are all getting really drained, but to have another day with him is certainly well worth it.

I'm going to try and post as much as I can on this, to serve as a reminder of the happenings of the last few weeks (or maybe even months, if we are lucky)...of my dad's life. Maybe it will help or comfort somebody else along the way in showing them that they aren't alone in going through something like this...who knows what purpose it will serve. I just know being able to have a place to just vent my feelings will be somewhat of a relief for me! =)

1 comment:

Just Some Gal said...

I hope you're able to find relief in blogging. I know many a times I've just blogged the dumbest things but it made me feel so much better.

TTYL and thanks for commenting on my blog,

Blondie