I'm back!

I had a really great weekend, but it's always a nice feeling when you finally arrive safe and sound at home. Before going I was fretting about the weather, and it turned out to be absolutey beautiful. The sun was shining all weekend and we didn't see a drop of rain.

After arriving in Petoskey and unpacking our stuff we headed to the casino, which just happened to be right down the road from our hotel (go figure...I'm sure Brian didn't plan this at all!) Anyhow, it was pretty fun. We only stayed for a few hours and I hit a jackpot for Brian. That was pretty exciting. I had since exhausted my quota for the night...he handed me $100 to play a slot that he thought "might hit", as he had watched quite a few people sink a pretty penny into it without it hitting at all. I dropped the $100 pretty quickly, with no results...bummer for him! LOL I told him that was it, I was done for the night. He handed me another $20, and insisted that I sit next to him and just play that last $20...so I did. After a few spins, I hit for a spin on the wheel of fortune and got 1000 credits. That winning left him breaking even...we cashed out and left. LOL

Went to Mackinaw City on Saturday. Spent the day, leisurely strolling from shop to shop along the main drag. Had lunch at Mama Mia's, which is a pretty cool place for those interested in ANY history on the erection of the Mackinaw Bridge. The guy who owns the place, had his hand in working on the bridge and you are surrounded by pictures of him (old and young) in his plight from bridge builder to waterfront shop owner. There were so many relics...Brian and I were talking about how devastated he would be if he were to lose his shop! There have to be a million memories there!

His family arrived Saturday afternoon. We spent some time going through some antique shops that were near the hotel. I could have spent a fortune. There was this one shop that had such beautiful custom furniture. They had this particular piece that I will probably dream about until my dying day. It was a pedestal sink for a washroom or a bathroom. It was the perfect mix of modern and traditional. The sink basin was a white ceramic bowl...like you often see these days...it sits on top of the pedestal instead of being recessed in it. The bottom was all wood...with ornate detailing. Oh my goodness, I wanted this thing so badly! It was half off for $1,800 too...what a steal! LOL I may as well keep dreamin' about that one!

Saturday evening we all met for dinner and then took off for Victories Casino in Petoskey (again). We had a ball. Brian was trying his luck at Blackjack. I wandered from slot to slot...ended up winning a bit and played on my winnings for the rest of the evening. I was pretty happy! I didn't walk out of there any richer or POORER! LOL However, his mom had really good luck! She was playing the blazing 7's and I could hear her screeching from around the corner...I went over to watch...thinking she had hit bigtime. She had hit all right...for $200! LOL I stayed and watched her luck continue...she was up to $344 and hit for $1,000 more! Woo hoo! (And here I thought she was excited over the $200) Shortly afterwards we left...we had to get back to the hotel so that his brother and sister-in-law could take their turn up there. (We had to stay with his brother's son) Early the next morning, they were ringing us to meet for breakfast. After breakfast we were told to assemble in his parents room...they had an annoucement for us. Upon entering their room his mom was laying in bed...she kept rolling around on her pillow saying how tired she was. Once we all got there, she slipped her hand under her pillow and pulled out this big banner....it was from the casino...mama bear had snuck out of the room (unbeknownst to papa bear) and went back to the casino with his brother and sis in law...and had hit for $1,800 more! We were all whooping and hollering! We couldn't believe it. Especially papa bear! LOL She's so sneaky! She will now have her picture on the "wall of winners", in the casino. What's so funny about that, is upon walking in there earlier that evening, she said..."I sure wouldn't mind having my picture up there". LOL She got her wish! Go mama bear!!!

Sunday was his nieces graduation ceremony. It was a very small graduating class about 50 or so. The ceremony was very nice...though we caught her brother napping during it..LOL Afterwards they had an awesome slideshow that left me wishing that they had that sort of technology when I graduated from high school. We all went for a celebration dinner after which was lots of fun. After dinner we made our way back to the casino again (I wasn't too happy about this trip...I had had enough of the casino at this point, but I went along for the ride). The casino gods must have sensed my apprehension, and they let me know that I should have more of a winning attitude while there, because I just couldn't catch a break! LOL Well luck must run in his family, while watching a little blackjack (and a little blonde trying to get right in there with my boyfriend), his brother comes running down to the end of the aisle..."Stace hurry up, you've gotta see this!!!!" I go running down to his machine and see that he has 6,400 credits...just on the bonus round! LOL He already had over 4,000 before this bonus! LOL He then ended up getting about 2,000 more and then cashed out for about $750! Go Billy!

Yesterday morning, we got up and headed to the jacuzzi and pool and then pretty much got our stuff together and left to come home. On the way back, we stopped at the Turkey Roost. It's a restaurant that has been there for ages, and it's sort of a family tradition to stop there whenever they get the chance. For years, I guess they raised their own turkey's right on the property. They have since stopped doing that, but their food is awesome. (Kind of like a huge Thanksgiving dinner...all the trimmings...very reasonable). It was great and we stuffed ourselves until we couldn't stuff ourselves anymore...his brother especially...who got a good tongue lashing from his wife for indulging in 6 (or maybe even 7 of their biscuits)...LOL It was all good, even though she didn't agree!

The way home was pretty uneventful except for a few traffic snags (and his dad making sure that we were sweating to death, because he's always cold). Almost 80 out...windows almost completely rolled up! Brian was wearing a sweatshirt and I was in jean capri's and in full sun the whole way. Ugh! We did survive and papa bear was warm, so all was well. It was worth it and I learned a valuable lesson...next time I will have to remember to dress very lightly when traveling anywhere with papa bear! LOL

Now, it's back to the grind! Joy joy!! Well folks, that's all for now!!! Have a great day...and tell me about your weekend adventures!

=)

I deserve it, don't I?

Ok, for the second and hopefully the last time today (since my whole blog wiped out from trying to bold something)...here goes!

I was just reading Jersey Girl's post from yesterday and something struck me! I realized the probable reason for something that has been happening to me lately. She was talking about how, since she has become a mommy, she has to really rationalize when it comes to shopping. How she always has a conversation in her head, while looking and considering buying things that might be a little frivolous! I do the very same thing!

I have been very bad lately, where shopping is concerned. I don't know what has actually triggered this shopping trend, but geesh, I just can't seem to stop it! I try to tell myself, "hey self, you deserve this shirt (or whatever) because the ex took your whole wardrobe when you left". Not really a valid excuse, is it???

So, to give you somewhat of an idea of what I'm talking about, here is a list of JUST the new things (tags still on) in my suitcase right at this moment:

*Red wrap-around shirt
*White beaded seersucker shirt
*Peach Tommy shirt
*Pink v-neck with front ties
*Rose/beige floral spaghetti strap shirt
*Orangish yellow square neck shirt

*1 hot pink skirt
*2 pairs capri jeans

*2 lacy bras
*1 camisole with matching boy shorts
*socks

*1 pair white small heeled sandals with a small flower on the toe
*1 pair beige sandals with a little bow
*1 pair black flip flops

*1 silver necklace with a flower charm
*1 silver necklace with a heart
*3 bangle bracelets

*new shades

I think I might need to start seeking help for this little addiction, when I return from my trip. Can anyone relate to this at all? I do think I know the reason for it though...when I was married, I had to account for EVERYTHING that I spent (I'm talking EVERY THING too). He was such a penny pincher! While that is not necessarily always a bad thing, come on now. Why should I have to explain why I'm going to get some new undies???? Those are the kind of things that are just needed every now and then. Get a life, a**hole! I think it was just a control thing. He felt the need to control everything...and that folks, is the biggest reason why he is now the EX-HUSBAND!

It's very nice to not have to worry about accounting for anything, that I don't want to, anymore. I feel like such a big girl now! LOL Just not used to this...I was married at age 19...have never been out on my own. Moved right from the parents house to the ex-husbands. (I should have gotten a clue that something was wrong, when I was crying on the honeymoon!) Live and learn.

My new found freedom feels great and I hopefully will mellow out on my shopping excursions soon! If not...there has to be help out there! LOL So, fess up fellow bloggers...what's your current vise????

Ok, this is it...I'm outta here and on the road in a few!! Told you I'd get one more post in here! LOL Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!! See ya soon!! =)

Almost here.

The weekend is almost here and I couldn't be happier. The children are nestled in their beds (I'm sure with visions of video games dancing in their heads), the last load of laundry is in the dryer, our stuff is packed and waiting by the door for our departure, the dog has been bathed and thoroughly brushed (his stuff is also packed and by the door), I'm almost finished with EVERYTHING. That's a nice feeling. Granted it is almost 12:30 a.m., but that's okay too!

It will be nice to have this little getaway, it's been far too long. It's actually been a year since I've been away for the weekend. (Other than the trip to Tennessee in March...that was hardly for pleasure though and doesn't count). I was fretting somewhat about the weather...doesn't sound like it's going to be great, but who really cares?! Will I be working? Will I have the usual mundane chores to do? Will I wake to the blaring alarm clock? Nope, nope, and nope! Woo hoo! It can snow for all I care...will just be nice to be away.

I will kinda miss my blog world and also my bed, (it's only a few months old, and makes you feel like you are sleeping on a cloud) but what's a few days???? I'm sure I will live without them???!!! LOL

Anyhow, everyone have a great weekend, whatever your plans might be. Blog at you soon! (Maybe one more time before I leave tomorrow) ::wink wink::

Night!

Much better and the babysitter is FIRED!!!

Feeling much better today. Nobody beating me in the head with a hammer...LOL Ended up leaving work around 3 yesterday because I was feeling very lightheaded and nauseous. Went home to try and sleep the feeling off...didn't happen. I laid in bed for about 1 1/2 hours and just could not sleep. Decided I was gonna feel crappy whether laying around or being up and about, so I did get up and get a few things done around the house. Finally ate a little bit and took a handful of Motrin, and viola...I felt better! Woo hoo!!! Thank goodness for drugs and my miracle pancakes...LOL

Today, not only am I feeling better but it is actually halfway decent out to boot...it's been mighty gloomy around these parts since Sunday. However, the forecast for the rest of the week isn't too promising. Of course we are planning on heading north for the weekend, which will be slightly cooler than it is here. Not good with rain in the forecast, as we were planning on hitting Mackinac Island on Saturday. Those plans may be squashed, but at least we will be getting away for 3-4 days. That much will be nice. We are also planning on hitting the casino at least one of those nights...doesn't need to be nice out for that! ::wink wink::

This morning I noticed my youngest has a good sized scab on his elbow. I asked him where he got that from...(I didn't know of any boo-boos happening on any of my mommy shifts lately). Apparently, while Peanutt and I were at the baby shower on Sunday and Brian was on kid duty: my beautiful and wonderful children had an altercation resulting in a serious boo-boo that wasn't kissed or treated with antibiotic cream. How does something like this happen???? When I got home on Sunday, I asked Brian how the kids had been while I was gone, this is his reply..."They were good, except one time, when I heard them raising their voices and arguing with each other". I say, "Well, what did you do?", he says "I just kept an ear out, and let them handle it on their own." He did also throw in that, "I think that Tyler got a little upset though, I heard him crying and slam his door!" Ok, tell me mommies...isn't crying usually an indication of 'hey, maybe I should get up and check out what's going on here'????? Well, isn't it???? No Tyler didn't get "a little upset"...his big meanie brother (who is usually the mild mannered one), somehow slammed his elbow into his door handle, resulting in a nice thick scab on his elbow! HELLO! I think Babysitter Brian is going to have to be fired! LOL It's kind of funny, me finding out about all of this today...we just had a "discussion" about him watching my kids, the night before last night. It started like this...."The other day when I was watching the boys, I noticed that Tyler went to the bathroom, and didn't wash his hands"...I say, "Did you tell him to get back in there and wash them?", his reply.."No!"...I tell him, "Honey, you have to enforce the same rules as I do!" "What good is it to let them get away with crap, while in your care?" I also said, "When I watch your kids, they have rules, and they know it!" "They know that I'm not gonna let them get away with murder!" "You are basically teaching mine that they can with you, and that's not good!"...his final reply..."You're right hun, I'm sorry!" I think I will print and frame this as proof of his not so perfectness. LOL

I also got an apology yesterday...wasn't as heartfelt as I would have liked, but I'll take it!

Well, off to try and get through some mail here. Have a great day!

Fuzzies

Today, I have the "fuzzies". My head is throbbing, my sinuses hurt like hell, and I'm having quite a hard time really concentrating on, well...anything. It feels as though someone is standing next to me...repetitively beating on the top of my head with a hammer...not a nice feeling, at all! I've been trying to read some blogs and even comment on them...but I am just not comprehending!!!! Just took some Tylenol Sinus stuff, hope it works soon and doesn't leave me feeling shaky! LOL

Well, it's finally been confirmed...MEN ARE PERFECT!! It seems that no-matter what they do...they aren't at fault for it! Must be really nice, to not have to own up to doing anything wrong, and walk around thinking that it's just okay. Why is it so hard for them to see things from our point of view? Do they live in the same universe as us? Do they just not know right from wrong? Ugh! It's not like this is anything huge, but it's more the point. Rambling now, I'm sorry. Just frustrated.

Guess I'm a little disgruntled today...did you notice? LOL Woke up with the sinus crap, had to clean up a Max "mess" (just after showering), and I'm a little ticked off at him. Doesn't make for such a happy day.

Off of here for now. My head hurts too bad! Grrr...

Just a Monday.

Today is the typical Monday...well, pretty much. Work is actually much quieter than usual. Hopefully it stays that way. It's one of those days where cuddling up in bed would be really nice...the alarm went off way too early for me. LOL I was enjoying my slumber very much, and was sleeping so hard, that I started to incorporate the song playing on the radio right into a dream. Didn't care much about getting ready this morning once I did get up, and you can certainly tell. I look HORRID! I think another shower is in order tonight. (If I don't plan on going RIGHT home and not leaving again). Oh well, it's just work.

Have a ton to do this week before we leave for up north on Friday. Not only have to get myself ready for going away, but have to prep the kids for being with their...well, ummm...their dad, for 4 days. My oldest actually has a fishing tournament with his uncle, so he won't be with HIM for the full 4 days. By the way, everyone cross your fingers for him...first prize is about $1,400 for this tournament. He would be so excited. Oh my, I hope he wins.

My favorite aunt, the one that I blog about, was here over the weekend. I didn't even know that she was up, my sister was trying to tell me the other night, as my cell phone decided to lose signal and cut us off. I happened to stop over there, and got to see her for a bit yesterday, which was nice. I also really need to set aside some time to go up and see her. She's having a really hard time with my dad passing. Don't know if I explained the whole situation with her, but she's all alone now that my dad is gone. Her husband, (who was my dads bro), passed away last March, of cancer. She was really struggling with that, and starting talking to my dad a lot. To her, he was the ONLY one who could really understand exactly how she was feeling, because of him losing my mom 10 years prior. My dad helped by just knowing how she felt and by pushing her to do things that she never would have done by herself. This past year, they spent lots of time together...her commuting back and forth from Michigan to Tennessee. They inevitably became best friends. My dad gets ill and diagnosed with cancer, you know the rest. During my dad being ill, her youngest daughter also moved out of the house, so she is really ALONE now!! I wish she were closer, but I am going to have to set some time aside to spend with her. I miss seeing her all the time, was something I really got used to!

Left work for a while today, just to get a FEW things from Target! Bad move!!!! It would seem that I'm really in the shopping mood, as I walked out of there $168 poorer. Ugh!!! How does that happen??? I could have stayed there for hours, just poring over everything. Maybe I've squashed the shopping bug...we'll see. LOL

Off for now...bye bye.

Good weekend.

Yesterday was an absolute gorgeous day! It was probably mid 70's, sunny, and hardly a cloud in the sky. Today they are calling for rain, but hey, that's just the way it goes.

We worked about 5 hours on the yard yesterday...accomplished so much. I was bone weary when we finished, but it was all worth it. Still have more to do, but will get it all done eventually.

Went for a long drive around sunset last night. Was just too beautiful to stay in the house. Didn't go anywhere particular, just driving with the windows down, hair flying in the wind. Was really nice.

Today, I have the usual laundry that has accumulated over the week. (Which is near a ton) Not gonna let it stress me. Going up to paint my nails and shower to get ready for the baby shower today.

That's about it for now...nothing too exciting. (Which is just fine with me)

See ya! ~

It ain't so bad....

Was just thinking about the fact that it's already been 15 years since I've graduated from high school. Oh my gosh, I AM OLD! Where did all those years go? It just doesn't even seem possible that all of that time has passed...it was like the blink of an eye. It is true that the older you get, the quicker time flies by. But my, have there been a million changes in my life since then. Take a look and see...these are some of my milestones...

1990 graduated
1990 got my first full-time job, and am still employed there
1992 got married
1993 had my first son
1994 lost my mom
1995 had my second son
2002 went back to school
2003 left the ex
2003 met my current love
2005 lost my dad

My life, as is everyone else's after 15 years, has completely changed. While I miss so many things like; hanging with Peanutt every day after school (eating our wonderful combo of Cool Ranch Doritos, Hershey bars, and drinking Mountain Dew), watching Santa Barbara, playing Atari...LOL I miss my WHOLE family being together all the time. (It's very rare for ALL of us to hang out anymore). I miss my mom making me some of my fav. dinners....fried chicken and pork chops, spaghetti (mine are all very good...but they just aren't moms!) I miss just cruising around after school, and going to the park EVERY SINGLE DAY! Sometimes, I miss NOT having responsibilities dammit. Kids never realize just how good they have it! I certainly never thought twice about it! Until I grew up...

Now, I realize that my mom was very strict for a reason. I realize that you have to work hard for anything and everything that you want out of life. I now see, that even though there are many trials and tribulations throughout the course of your life...you get back, in tenfold the effort you had to put forth.

I've accomplished alot these past 15 years! Have learned alot too. I've learned that I can make it all by myself. That I don't have to EVER settle for something that doesn't make me truly happy. That, no matter how bad it may seem, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I have 2 wonderful little boys...a man that I'm very much in love with...the truest and most loving friends...the list goes on...

So, I guess my little evaluation of where I'm at and where I've been, just proved that my life ain't so bad. In fact, it's pretty damn good!

Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Woah...stop the train...I'm getting off!

I knew today was gonna be crazy. We have 5 docs in at work, and that pretty much means non-stop action. I came in about 7:25 and had a note on my phone saying that there were saved messages on voice mail. When I picked up those messages, I knew my fate was sealed. Both of the messages were from PITA's (pain in the asses). The first being from a patient that ALWAYS cancels her appointments at the last minute, or just plain doesn't show...the second was a patient that has been calling EVERY SINGLE DAY for days on end, with the same message. Ugh, ugh, ugh! LOL

At about 7:45 it got even better, when a driver brought in a group home patient who was not on our schedule for today. It showed he had an appointment at another office on 4-21, but did not show. He was insistent that he made the appointment for 8:20 this morning! I told him that I would have to talk to the doctor, and it was up to her, because she had a full schedule...he then turned around and left. Without the patient!!! Now, this is a group home patient....I'm thinking, "What the hell are you doing dude?" It blew my mind. I went and talked to the doctor who said the only time she had today was 11:40...ugh again! We got the phone number of the driver from the patient, good thing he is not so impaired that he couldn't relay phone numbers to us. The driver then came back and was of course, totally belligerent with me...talking to me like I was the scum of the earth and not doing my job. ::Groan:: Anyhow, bottom line is that he will have another driver bring the patient back at 11:40, and the patient will be seen. (We are also getting his supervisor's name and calling or writing to the center where he works!) Ahhhh...that gives me some satisfaction!

And the day goes on...LOL I think it's gonna be a day to remember! LOL

Last night was a little stressful at home! Tyler, the youngest, was apparently acting up in music class yesterday. His teacher called and left a message on the recorder saying that he apparently did not want to participate, he was pretending to bite other classmates, scooting around in a chair all over the class, hiding under a chair...shall I even go on? Geez, what am I gonna do with him? He of course doesn't mention this to me at all when I go to pick him up from school. He gets home and goes running next door to play...like all is well! I get the message, and call him in to "discuss" it...he acts as though he did nothing wrong. Some days, I just really don't know what to do with that boy! I ended up talking to him about his behavior, told him that was not AT ALL acceptable, that he WILL offer and apology to his teacher today, and that he was basically grounded to his room for the time being. He also got to do his week's worth of homework, LASTNIGHT! I just called and left a message for his teacher. I want to follow up and make sure that Tyler gave him the apology that he deserves, and that the teacher contact me immediately, if there are any more issues.

The oldest, Corey, was introduced to the lawnmower yesterday. He did pretty good, for his first time. Though he had a little bit of a problem with missing some of the edges, he would turn back around and go over them again. I was pretty impressed with his performace overall. When he finished, he told me what hard work it was! LOL Now he feels my pain! I think I owe him a big ice cream or some money for that...the boy may actually start getting an allowance if he keeps up on this task! (Which I'm going to make sure that he does!)

The dog was literally FREAKING OUT lastnight. Out of the blue, he started barking and growling and would not stop! I still have no clue what the problem was, but he kept looking at the back door and freaking. At one point, he jumped up on the couch with me (which he has never done before), he laid down next to me and just continued growling and panting like he had just run for miles. Eventually he mellowed but it still has me scratching my head as to what was up. Was very strange. This morning he seemed fine...his usual self. Wierd!

Ok, that's about it for now. Off to get some more work done here cuz it's hopping!!

Weekend escape.

This morning I woke up feeling totally relaxed and ready to clean house and get to the mountains of laundry that face me. I guess it's because yesterday, we completely blocked out the world. I got up early to go to the salon and get my hair cut. When I got home, I did absolutely nothing at all. Brian and I napped until about noon. We ate a little lunch, and then napped some more. I woke up and made us some dinner (pork chops on the grill, carmelized sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and herb and garlic rolls). It was wonderful! We did actually get out for a few, to go rent a movie. (Ocean's twelve) We came back, and both fell asleep watching that. That was it for our day. LOL

Granted, it was a semi nice day out. There was some rain, but the sun kept peeking through. There were lots of things that we could have done. But I am so happy we didn't. It was great to just have a day of peace and to do whatever we wanted to do. Now I will pay for it, because my house has suffered somewhat and as I said before, there are mountains of laundry to do...but that's okay...I have all day to finish all of that...and I will.

I hope everyone has had a nice weekend! That's it for now...gotta get to work...LOL

The ex is a pig!

Instead of getting up and heading to work as I would usually do on a Friday, I headed to the courthouse downtown. The ex (who just started paying child support within the past few months), feels that he's being ripped off, and paying way too much. My boyfriend also has 2 children, and pays double the amount that my ex pays, just to put all of this into perspective for you. Somehow, Al, (the ex) is under the impression that he is exempt from supporting his children, and that it's okay to drag me down to court numerous times, until he gets his way.

In the almost 2 years that we have been apart; he was laid off from his job of 7 years (the company has since called everyone except him back to work, go figure), he found another job after about 8 months, which he was fired from for excessive tardiness, and he now works at Dollar General making about $6 an hour. Now, I know the bastard well enough to know that until my children turn 18 and he is no longer "responsible" for paying child support, he will work making peanuts, to avoid his financial responsibilities. He is the definition of a LOSER! And the sad thing is, that child support and parenting time are 2 separate issues. Doesn't matter if he pays or not, he still has his time with the children. That's a shame, if you ask me. If a father doesn't want to own up and help support his children....why should he get to see them????? Does that make any sense?

Here I was under the impression that our divorce was done and over with...what was I thinking? I knew it could never be that easy with him. Things were going way too smooth. When I got the first child support check about 2 months ago, I knew I was in for something.....

So here we are! Still battling 2 years later. Doesn't make sense to me but, oh well. Things could be worse...I could still be married to the ding dong! LOL

Bye for now! =)

This is Brian and I, a few months ago!  

This is Max!  

Found out where the motivation went

After work, Brian took the dog to his parents house while they had dinner. I decided that would be a good time to get my floors done, since I had no kids or dog around. (If I try to do floors with Max there, he is constantly under my feet and tracking all over the floor I've just cleaned). I actually worked up a sweat scrubbing the kitchen and bathroom floors, got in a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen counters, sink, etc. I felt so good, getting all of this accomplished in such a short amount of time.

After Brian got home with Max I decided that I would stop to eat a bite. I made a salad (trying to be good). After eating, and before my ex dropped of my kids, we decided to go for a bike ride. We probably rode about 3 miles. Wow, I was quite proud of how good I had done all day. I didn't go home and veg, I ate a healthy dinner, got some exercise.

How quickly I forget, I have 2 children and a puppy! Ugh! My children were dropped off at 8:30...by 9:30 it became apparent to me, exactly why I have such a hard time becoming motivated around there.

The children played outside until it started getting dark. (Which gave them just about 1/2 hour out there.) Now you wouldn't think that in 1/2 hour, they could become filthy dirty. YEAH RIGHT, THINK AGAIN! I called them in at 9 to take their showers. At 9:30, I walk in the bathroom to find disgusting black foot prints all the way from the bathroom door, to the shower. Can we say frustrated???? My goodness, I just wanted to scream. So of course, it's 9:30 at night and I'm redoing my floor.

This morning I wake up, now over the fact that I just can't keep the house clean, no matter how hard I try...but not for long. First thing, I let the dog out in the back yard. He's taking forever, so I decide to get in the shower and let him back in afterwards. I get out of the shower, go to let him in...(mind you, I have a towel in the kitchen for his paws), wipe down his paws with him squirming around like crazy...he comes flying through the kitchen, and lo and behold...leaves black puppy prints every step of the way. NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE KITCHEN FLOOR TOO!

I just can't win! =(

I've lost my motivation...and just don't know where to find it...LOL

For some reason, I am just not motivated at all lately. While at work, I contemplate all of the things that I'm going to accomplish when I get home. By the time I pick up the kids, make dinner, clean up after dinner, and MAYBE do a little laundry, I'm done for the day. I would really like to start walking, and have a beautiful park a few blocks away...and yet, I just never seem to make it there. Ugh...what is wrong with me?

You would think the nice weather would give me sufficient inspiration to want to get out there and enjoy it....NOT! I'm content staying in my little cocoon that is my house. I just feel pooped all the time. I can, on any given day, lay down and take a nap...doesn't matter if I slept until 10 a.m. either. I also can't hold my eyes open if I lay down. My boyfriend has stopped renting movies because unless I sit bolt upright on the couch, I'm out like a light, in about 20 minutes.

Is this a part of aging? Is that just what naturally happens when you get into your 30's? Am I just completely lazy? What's up with this????

Help me!

xoxox

Aunt Gay.

Dear Gay,

Before dad passed, I started an online journal. I jotted down things I didn't want to forget. This will be posted on a page on my site, and this page is dedicated to you...

I want to say that your strength and courage these past few months has just been incredible. I love you so much for being right by our sides (and Dad's), for what has been one of the biggest trials of all of our lives. I truly don't know how we will ever be able to thank you for everything. You held me together so many times, when I just wanted to crumble. You were wonderful to Dad and never left his side, though I know just how hard it all had to be. My heart just goes out to you...I know how rough this is. Don't ever say that you don't have anyone now...you have all of us, any time you need us. You know that we are all there for you, and always will be.

When you are having a rough time, when things are bringing you down...think about how much dad loved you. Think about how happy he was, just to have you around. Think about how much love all of us have for you. Imagine him, mom, Bob, and Granny...all together again and smiling down at us.

If you ever need anything, you either get over here or pick up that phone. We're never more than a phone call away.

I love you,
S

This week.

I know that I have been pretty lax in posting lately, but it's been a little busy. Peanutt has left me all alone at work. What was she thinking, when she decided to take vacation? I didn't authorize that! lol I really don't like being without my partner in crime. Though, these past few weeks have been therapeutic, because they have been busy. So, I should probably be thanking her instead of griping about it! =)

Went to Great Lakes Crossing over the weekend. It's the largest mall we have in this area. Pretty nice. I had a good time. Finally spent most of the gift certificate, that I got from Bri's mom for Christmas. That was nice...FREE CLOTHES! You can't beat that with a stick.

Also went to the casino in Canada that night. Won, and had to wait for the attendant to pay me for the very first time! Woo hoo! I've been to the casino about 10-15 times, never won more than $30-40. I even said on the way there..."I don't know why I'm going, I never win!" My sister yelled at me for that, and told me I can't go in with that attitude. LOL Anyhow, that was pretty fun.

My boys are getting so big. It's hard to believe that they were ever babies. They are loving the puppy, and give him constant attention. It's funny because, my youngest seems more attached than my 11-year-old...which is just odd to me. Don't get me wrong, the older one loves him to death, but just doesn't get as excited about him. I would have thought it would be the other way around but I think Tyler (the youngest) just views him as a playmate. That's a good thing...he's a busy body and needs something to keep his attention! LOL

Well, that's about it. It's Friday, the work week almost finished. Hooray!

Take care all!
xoxox

So thankful.

The purpose of this post is to give thanks to many who have not only helped me in getting through the loss of my dad, but many other things, these past few years. I have leaned on many people, cried on tons of shoulders, and am very thankful for the people that I have in my life.

I will target a few individuals, but this really goes out to many more....just don't have the time to thank everyone individually.

To Peanutt: I want to thank you for everything you have done for all these years. It's very hard to appropriately say thanks for 26 years worth of stuff...but know that I do appreciate each and every single thing you have done. (Which is more than a million) lol Who else would sit up in a chair all night at work with me? lol You may not be my sister by blood, but you are certainly my sister by way of my heart. I love you honey.

To Bri: You are an amazing and beautiful person. (Don't know how crazy you will be about my saying this so publicly but, oh well! lol) I love the way you can make me smile, even during the most trying times. We have had so much fun these past 16 months, and I look forward to whatever the future holds for us. I know our relationship isn't perfect, and we have our "moments", but it wouldn't be a "relationship" if we didn't. You have been wonderful through the turmoil in my life...always by my side, and I appreciate that more than you will ever know. I also wanted to say thanks for making the trip with me, and for just being there while I was going through everything with my dad. You were very patient and a real trooper.

To my brothers and sisters: You guys have all been the best, through everything we have faced the past 11 years. I am so thankful to have each and every one of you. It makes me want to cry, just thinking about what I would have done without all of you to lean on. Thank you for making me stronger and letting me know you were there, when I know I couldn't have made it by myself. I love you so much.

To Eric: I know that I always tell you how much I appreciate you, but I want you to know that I truly mean it from the heart. You are what being a true friend is all about. Thank you so much for all that you have done.

To my co-workers: I can't tell you how much I appreciate the patience and understanding you have shown these past few years. Most people would have had to also worry about their jobs being in jeopardy because of missing so much time, having to leave early, etc. I didn't have to concern myself with any of that, thanks to all of you. I also appreciate the fact that I have all of you to lean on when I need to.

To my neighbors: Many of you have seen my whole family go through graduations, marriages, children, divorces, etc. I couldn't have hand picked better neighbors and am so fortunate to have all of you. A special thanks goes out to Tocha and Carol...both of you have been wonderful in helping to see me through all the turmoil. I know that I can always depend on you. To Connie: What can I say? You were one of my mom's nearest and dearest friends...that puts you way up there. You will never change and I love you for it. Jan and Chris: I will never forget all the trouble you went to, when my mom passed away. Thanks for your comfort and support during that time, my dad passing and through my divorce.

I know that there are many others who have made a huge impact on my life and who I need to thank, but this is gonna have to do it for now. (This much has taken 3 days to finish..really busy here!)

Anyhow, love to all and thanks!